It felt like a good idea to start the column with some upbeat movement.
Blog Starter: Gimme Shelter
On The Local Scene
Rednak operatives are sitting with their ears to the ground and their PCs tuned to the Grapevine report in every week.
Never a dull moment. Village poiliticos in our neighboring community of Yankeetown have decided to forego association with the town of Inglis when it comes to Emergency Management. Their Town Hall is situated a hundred yards from the Withlacoochee River in an area that twenty some years ago was three to four feet under water during a weather anomaly that was not a hurricane. In light of the fact that escape from this area, at the end of the road, is based on exiting on one of the two county roads and/or the river - east, Their Disaster Relief team won’t be working very long when that hurricane that “never comes close to us”, comes ashore and levels every tree, half the houses , and covers the escape routes with six to ten feet of water. It will be the only EMOC storm center in the area that the volunteers all will be wearing life jackets as they declare a community disaster.
Heard recently at a Healthy Community meeting: "Hell, if we're goin' to drown or have our houses fall in on our heads were not going to do it with Inglis!"
One of Inglis’ fruit bats has put the town on notice that the municipal water system is the cause of Marcite deterioration and subsequent rust from exposed rebar reinforcement. The water has been checked. No cause there. Therefore it must be a town conspiracy and consequently the winged expert of probable causes demands that the town’s liability insurer fix his pool. Huh?
Want to know how soon the moon will be full? Go out at dusk, look upward and westward. If you see a “kettle” of really large bats circling like buzzards that means the full moon will be rising in the next thirty minutes. They will be making a shrill noise. Listen carefully, and you can hear the screeching, “I want my vodka straight up!” over and over again.
Ron White is Right
You can’t fix stupid. You should read the latest almost intelligible sermon from the poster child of “Doing What’s Wrong for Fun & Profit” concerning the Inglis budget. He left that in the boxes of the other four members of the Inglis Commission. The figures used came from outer space and the assertions came from the unimpeachable grapevine. The suggestion that the other four members of the town commission are stealing and that anyone who pays for municipal water is an owner of the water system came from a small plastic cylinder that was pulled out of someone’s ass. The brilliant assertion was that moving salaries from one budget classification to another made those salaries disappear. Understand, they don't teach this shit in the sixth grade.
This is one of your elected commissioners people. This one has multiple code enforcement violations pending. He is a charter member of the Gang of Five. You remember Sally Price? You know – dissolve the town Sally, take 66 days off Sally, I never heard a lie that I couldn’t make ten times larger Sally. Yeah that’s them. More fruit bats. This one spent $262.50 on attorney’s fees last month. Oh Yeah! Saving the taxpayers money. We jus getting’ started.
The Rebel Con Job
From the Opinion page of last Sunday's Tampa Times.
A fresh perspective re: a worn out symbol of our southern past.
Garden & Gun Pie Recipes
Did You Know This About Humming Bird's Tongues ?
Line Dance to this smartass.
Enuff Said Thanx Rednak Luvs Ya!